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September 18, 2004
Defense and the Deliberation Thereof
How do you tell the difference between Democrats, Republicans, and Southerners?
"You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges. You are carrying a Glock 40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?"
Democrat's Answer: Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children? Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? Should I call 9-1-1? Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a Paint and Weed Day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior. This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.
Republican's Answer: BANG!
Southerner's Answer: BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! *click....sounds of reloading* BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! *click*
Southerner's Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Black Talon Hollow Points??
Posted by Grant at September 18, 2004 06:44 PM
Comments
Read that to Mom, and we both nearly laughed our heads off! :)) The Democrat's answer is just too true. However, Mom says there is at least one Northerner and his daughter who would have the same answer as the Southerners. We can see Dad and Abigail in this situation... ;)
Posted by: Sarah at September 20, 2004 04:03 PM
Really? I'm just tickled about that! :-)
Posted by: Grant at September 21, 2004 11:48 AM
O.O wow, Too True
Posted by: laura at January 6, 2005 03:16 PM